Being alone makes me think, A LOT. It’s all struggling, I’m faced with dilemmas, everything comes with a sacrifice. studies, work, PR, life, family, friends and so much more, everything are holding another back, I can’t get all I want. Prince Siddhartha left behind wealth and fame as soon as he realised all the things we hold dear, we eventually have to lose them.
Now I realise, I am already 20, I cannot afford to screw up, any second I am that close to being a useless bum, what if I get no job? What if I have to go back? Will I be a shame for parents? Did I come here to experience life or should I keep my spending to minimum?
I myself find Melbourne VERY liveable, it is all I ever wanted, but would I be facing great challenges whilst my endeavour? Employment market isn’t optimistic, PR is hard to get.
The “N” on my transcript is bothering me, what if employers look at it and start questioning, what am I going to say about it? I’m regretted, in my head I constantly shout to myself “When are you going to learn?”
Even Canon and(or) Nikon decisions can get me so cranked up. I don’t have state-of-the-art equipment to get them head on to see what I really like but I guess my kit lens might be de-saturating my pictures’ colour. I guess, I’m not going to do anything to my camera for now, partly because of Yen.
Everything here seems cheap before conversion and expensive after conversion, I know the thing that I shouldn’t be converting, I just can’t help when I think of my financial source IS in ringgit.
Living here gives me less time to get frustrated over things and leave more time for meaningful stuff, I don’t have to be wary of people and be wary of wary people around. Instead of feeling insecure at night, I find the serenity of the place.
Food here IS good, I have not experienced a bad meal after being here for a month.
It is a great place I have to admit. And this might be the most racial tolerant place I have ever been. (For anything less racist, you have to go Kazakhstan, no, I’m not joking, they have 50 religions in harmony)
It wasn’t until a friend of mine told me that Melbourne is the most European place in Australia, I always loved the city, especially how they preserved ancient buildings.
There are times right before I fall asleep, I think of the place, I know I am in Melbourne, finally I am here, I want to be here, I want to be more, not in terms of money but I want to live the way I want.
Fix your car, you spoiled my photo.
In fact I find a lot of emotions flowing through the city. It is just good to go around the city, even doing absolutely nothing but feeling the atmosphere. I started getting used to being alone, I’d rather give more time to myself rather than sacrificing things just to appease others.
It is, just different.