Two more days

Unbelieveable, by how people who are afraid of swine flu, want to make themselves as if they got swine flu, quarantining themselves at home, just for the again, 0.4% FCR. Nothing wrong with that, nothing personal... good on you all. Since when did people start liking MJ so much?

Sad thing about this trip is I should have seen the Maorian culture and heritage. Overall, GOOD.

Best gift I got is really the art of enjoying life, savouring good moments, biting through bad ones, and even bitter ones would be memorable good moments when I look back.

How many times do people have to disappoint me. Europe should be my answer...

Something I have never doubted, today it all changed. I said goodbye to you, and this time it means I'd never want to see you again.

Want to take photos of lightning

I don't get it at all. I have no fate with roaming. Upteen visits to Singapore, I don't have roaming service. Even to Thailand, and now in Auckland, I get NADA!

Auckland have been good to me. Despite how it is generally colder than Australia, it have been pretty warm, even warmer than Melbourne! Which I doubt Wei Xiong would get...

Been having some satisfying pictures but I'm no good with the lens I have... I'm guessing I should go Europe one day, on top of uncle in London who can provide me a place to stay, Stuart who is providing me place to stay now told me if one day i drop by Scottland he got more than 20 phone numbers of nice people who would put me at their place happily! I really shouldn't miss out Wales and Scottland like most people did, go to London and miss out other parts of UK. With all due respect, is plain foolish.

The city wasn't anything like Melbourne, I like Melbourne as a city better but the people in Melbourne are really nothing compared to people here. Melbourne people are nice and friendly, nothing wrong with that but everyone in Auckland seem like friends! They are really really nice people I'm staying with... Except when a twelve year old got worried about me not being home after eight, whilst I am twenty... And being praised for haivng good command in English, just because I laughed over two white man on TV show talking for one and half hour.

There are a lot things I learnt and saw here. So, caucasians actually talk to Asians? Just not Melbourne... I realised, why would you need money to be happy? I know better to savour every moment of life.

OMG I got so many places I want to go now! Europe is probably too expensive for now, I'm looking into Bangkok, road trip up to Nahkon-Sawan(not sure if I spelled it right, it is not even a tourist location), maybe up to Vietnam. Anyone??

Sorry to bore everyone with no pictures, I took quite some but hogging on my Bree's laptop for now, not the best thing to do to upload pics here.


I have negativity

I’m less than 7 hours to fly, less than 4 hours to wake up, haven’t even packed anything other than the red passport but I am not sleeping. I realised I am too young to die, there are so many more places to take my breath away.

I’m excited, for what life has for me for tomorrow.


Scratch it, it doesn’t count

I can’t believe it is over, I need to come into synch with my new life rhythm. Tomorrow is… Auckland! Going to be there for a week, I’ve been dreaming for a trip like this SO BAD. This blog should go into hiatus. It is going to be something new! It is going to be opening up new perspectives too for someone lost in life as of now.

Yes, I am loving my life.


Minutes until thunderstorm

Before thunderstorm… I should not to tempt fate, not push my luck. Sorry I can’t go any further, this is the best I got,even I know I don’t deserve a pass for my next paper. It is all in god’s hands now, hopefully he’d hold it in his right hand, the righteous right hand. I want to finish it so bad… one way or another.

By the way, it is open book, so it really doesn’t depend on how I prepare?

PS: Last line was just to make me feel better.

In the meantime, keep breathing praying..

Last bullet I got to bite

Or is it that I no longer care? Why don’t people seem to rejoice over completing exams anymore? I miss the city already.I realised that in less than 10 hours I got to call it a day and face the music, please don’t ruin my great holidays…

FYI, in world of iPhone, copy and paste is actually an improvement!

Butterfly kisses


Caffeinic Anonymous

How amazing doing stuff you love, you just don’t mind doing it at all. I really believe swine flu isn't as bad, it could even be a new experiences that opens up new possibilities. Being so near to death, I'm pretty sure you'd see something new... I have to disagree with the idea of staying home, it doesn't need a degree in exploratory mathematics or a monte carlo analysis to know that, swine flu isn't the only cause of death in the world. Who needs to be scared when so many people make precaution when world is in fear? To conquer fear we need to face it, remember how easy it was to fly? After 911 everything got so much more troublesome, every 3 years we get an epidemic, it is just the media having nothing much to write, soon seventeen magazines would come with free sanitizers??

The case fatality rate (CFR) of the pandemic strain is estimated at 0.4% (range 0.3%-1.8%) (Christophe, 2009). That's like the chance of worrying at home and getting thyroid storm.

Below is a link to REAL transformer story:

What I do best?

I always thought I’m a good-for-nothing. There are things that I have an edge over others, there are things that I am more gifted. Of course, I’m always at the rock bottom for sports, directions, drawing or even video games! Usually I just lose out and gets out of the picture after some time.

Now I know what I do best, I think I know how to enjoy life better than others. This is not because I have the most jammed up winter holiday plans. There are a lot of people who conform to the pattern of this world, like the Romans told us not to. The people are doing things they don’t enjoy doing, just for the sake of following. I’m always the odd one out of a group, I stand up for my own belief and have things at my own vision.

I picked up a hobby out of nowhere, I started liking places I have never been to, I enjoyed falling in love with city, started my street photography before I even realise it is common.

I don’t produce the most unique or artistic photo, but I do see a lack of wedding photographers, not in numbers. They seem to be doing same shots to people, if I were to take out their shots about wine glasses, flower bouquet, hung wedding grown and ring. I don’t think there would even be pictures. They.are.just.the.same.


Is it that a part of you is left in me, or you were simply everything I ever wanted.

I wana get out of here

Having to go through exam, it is ironic how it deprives people from the very quintessential elements of everyday life. Food? Water? Sleep? Peace? I really miss the genius loci of the cafes I had breakfast!

Just marched into a deeper addiction, and with prime lenses running down my bank account, it is not going to sustain. Dad, Happy Father’s Day by the way.

TWO AND A HALF DAY MORE, till the smell of freedom. I can do it! I do it through him:)



There are things I still don’t understand. Hand?

It is funny how when I study, time goes twice as fast in front of computer screen, normal in library, twice as slow at McDonald's. Just 2 and half day of preparation.

And I'm sorry, I think I have greater passion in doing stuff other than my major.



My photos have not been the best recently! One thing I find about photography is, it is really a loner thing to do. I am not the kind of person who enjoys shooting food and friends all day long in cafe… Model shooting with a whole bunch of people, one venue, one model and 10 other photogs around, doesn’t work for me too, it really doesn’t make sense. When I shoot I want things my way, there is no time to consider what 10 other people want.

Just got into a new perspective, and got my photos into stagnant growth. Got to catch up after my papers.

Deceptive dreams

I miss the city.


Misconception of identity

Beyond my words

I thought what would have happened, could my decisions bring me further, to a better place. Or do I make my call right now, to not make myself a puppet.


Let the eyes do the talking

My Caffeine

I wouldn’t call a day started without this! Tomorrow is the last chance for Clayton to prove that their coffee is not hopeless. Prove me wrong, please.

There are stories

2:33AM 18th June 2009, I was this close to deleting all the photos I have, and it isn't by an accident.


It is because you can’t leave anyone waiting on you and go to them when you feel like it.



And I thought, why couldn’t I just be like everyone else?

Having to wait is tormenting

My solace should be working perfectly now but I don’t get to collect it yet. I have a paper tomorrow, I have just about 24 hours until the commencement of the paper. In 10 days I’d be in land of Kiwis and I can’t wait, at all. I’m picking up editing, finding my comfort zone, it is something I have been shunning away from, but I know I still got to do it in the end.


It is in my blood

It is evident that I can’t stay at a place for long. I don't see myself living here in 2 years.

I Suppose

I can’t concentrate, after screwing my first paper. Millions of people told me I shouldn’t think about it because it is over, just like asking people not to grieve over death. The rational stuff, doesn’t always work. I don’t even know what I’m coming at.

Or is it easier to keep life’s focus on big cars and luxurious houses, just to keep myself studying. Currently I am blasting electro-house, hoping for an adrenaline rush, which I need. My days here, are numbered.

Almost a panic attack

And I wasn’t sure, of what it is. Keep breathing.


If I told you you were right, would you take my hand tonight?

It felt just like home.


That's what kept popping up on my screen, and when it comes up, it won't go away... Very likely NOT going to get a decent quote here, and it is impossible to just buy another hard drive and replicate it...

Just like when I'm prompted with questions, he is always the answer, but where the button is, it is pretty much forgotten by the programmers. Why can't I have a clearer vision, like Nehemiah? Please... I surrender all.

Meanwhile, this is a story of a Psychopath who cheated her wife about identity for 12 years.

At the mean time, back to the system that predicts the future, it can't function, it is not going to predict exactly what is going to happen. It works just like time travelling, knowing your future affects your decisions, and there goes the domino effect. Just like how you cant kill the "you" in the past, if he dies, you shouldn't be there, if you are not there, he can't die.

On another hand, i think the term Frenemy is such a brilliant word... Being friends in front and being enemies at the back.



Condescending period of mine.

A piece of puzzle, missing.


Where do I begin?

Taken using BlackBerry Bold

I had a loner’s day out in city. A lot of people told me I’d get sick of city one day, I guess we just see it differently. I really have no idea what else can beat a good cuppa for the day. Since I am in the city and I punched in “best coffee, melbourne” on BlackBerry (see how I bolded the text? Punny right?). Voila! Dancing goat cafe, a stone’s throw away from flagstaff. I like how the aroma lingered in my mouth for hours. I’m going to propose show kopitiam to have this kind of REAL coffee too. Next stop? St. Ali, South Melbourne :)

On another hand, walking in the city without my dSLR is just depressing, I never saw this coming, taking pictures using camera phone. Guess everyone gotta bear with this for a couple of days more. I just got my second test results from the clinic, I’m all good now! Thanks people!

Random: Imagine a computer system large and powerful enough to take account of ALL physical laws and particle coordinates, knowing exactly where it is going to be, what is going to happen and consequences right after, even emotions are predicted. A prophecy based on simple logic. Isn't that freaky?

It is sad to be myself


0202 WFA

I screwed up my first paper and very likely failing it, and it is not even my toughest subject, everybody felt they did bad but I still blame myself for not trying hard enough. After the paper, my friend calling home asking his parents if he could transfer to other uni or underloading and completing degree later.

It was the longest 3 hours I've been through, struggling whether to give up or squeezing and get whatever marks I still could get... I didn't give up but I'd say it didn't help much. Not knowing those stuff you skipped because you didn't think they were important, is my strike one, and two, and the thing that sold me out for the whole paper.

I feel like an idiot, for not learning, every time, lessons after lessons. I don't even think I should trust myself... Still having fat hopes and dreams over the rainbow. GROW UP! WHEN WOULD YOU LEARN! Those words, I have shouted to myself far too many times.

I think, I am not up for it. I'm weak, and this is another challenge I gotta walk through.

And sometimes you wonder is it worth it to study one thing over 14 weeks and forgetting it 14 weeks after.


Point Blank

I just realised my real exam date, it is my last dash, I’m prepared but… not good enough. There are a lot of things I don’t understand, because it is easier that way, who likes truth anyway.

Baby is hospitalised, until probably Monday or Tuesday... So expect a lot of pictures from BlackBerry's AWESOME camera or outdated photos in my hard drive.


Similarly identical

Perhaps those I have posted isn’t all, the hardest part of post processing is to relate back what I wanted back then.

I’m not proud of what I have done, I guess it isn’t the right time but I just couldn’t let go of the thing I held dearest to be undermined by physical limitation… Let’s hope so…

That’s going to be the same old mistake? I’m fearful of that.

What did you see?

Is it him again using the bad for the good? Is it a twist of fate? Or is it just another joke?

And a new perspective? I took 20k photos in a year plus, I must have spent a good amount of time behind the camera…


How can I not be moved

Took this at MESS HALL (correction) near Parliament station using Lam’s 5D mk1 with 24-70. How can I not be moved? This is the kind of picture I wanted for ages. Photographic equipments are not exactly what I should dwell on.

Saying exams are near is an understatement, I should say it is almost ending, I haven’t done enough work, I feel unprepared, I’m fearful of what is going to come. I want to believe, I want to do great things through him and with him. Press on is the word, and to give myself a pat on my shoulder?

It started when I 12 in Sydney, mother nudged me and asked if I like Australia and if I want to study in Australia. I like my life here better, especially crashing into great cafes and photography, but I want to spend more time with my parents, I always enjoyed breakfast with parents, it is something so simple and so beautiful yet overlooked by a lot of people. Time passes so fast, especially for them, a Christmas trip with my family to Adelaide, walking along the isle back to my seat, I got shocked, looking at the grey hair I never realised he has, no matter how healthy and how tough he is, age could be just as unforgiving. I met an old man at the train station, he was having trouble knowing when his train is coming so I talked to him and tried helping out, spoke to him in English and two dialects which attracted everyone’s attention, he told me he is from Malaysia, he have been here for 30 years. He looked pretty old and kept repeating what he said, how Malaysians could speak so many dialects and I know this isn’t his failing memory but a sign of loneliness, he wants to talk to people. It could have been just another encounter but to me, I saw myself there in 40 years, I saw my parents in near future. Maybe I don’t want to be all alone waiting at train station when I’m at his age, maybe I don’t want to let my parents to be this lonely, maybe life here isn’t really what I want. I cannot believe how people don’t think about their parents’ when they consider taking up permanent residency in another country. I cannot believe the love taken to send someone you’ve been with for most of his life to another place for his future. Even though they might not come back anymore, which a lot of them did not. I don’t believe in expensive cars and posh dining, I rather believe in a mother who did only positive and supportive decisions and a father who placed family before everything.

And winter in Melbourne is not just chilly, it is kind of lonely. Till then, it would be really long until my next post with so many words and baring everything out.


This place never meant so much

And you brought meaning to that place.

Hasta la vista


Random facts:

Jessie is only turning 16.

Judith did the fantastic make-up.

It was freezing, we had to go back into the house to keep warm.

The locations was impromptu.

Jessie actually had no experience in modeling before.

This is my third attempt in portraiture.

We have one model who did not show up.

Shots were done with a lousy flash and without reflector.

The camera loves Jessie and she should start something serious.


I’m sorry

I can’t be perfect.


It is amazing how photos can reveal my thoughts by so much.

Fear, Injustice and other comedies


I miss you too

Lights out, I’m done here. Company reporting/ Financial accounting is second worse to chemotherapy. The entries don’t make sense to me, all of them, from A to Z, Alpha to Omega! Good game my friend, well played.

What went into my head today? NADA! ILEK! MEI YOU! BOH!


I believe


Visions are clearer and clearer, I finally know what I want and what I would go for. After typing out my email to cell, I realised it is just so easy to be empowered, so easy to get things done through him! I have limited time but I can do unlimited things!

I post pictures so frequently, I don’t see it a bad thing, it pushes me to take more photos that are “post-worthy”. I really don’t like brand wars, some might have noticed as a Canon user I never did pick up a war. If one was ever better than another, why didn’t the other one go out of business. I’m even quitting from concluding them, there is never going to be an answer.

Life is picking up? I guess so :)


Far away from home

I can’t forget the day I left Malaysia, she really knew I was going to leave.

It make sense no sense

How people try to make people care more, and how I try to reverse it and care less.

Tall story

I wish I  could hear the clock ticking, so I’d be reminded that time doesn’t stop for me.