Thursday

0202 WFA

I screwed up my first paper and very likely failing it, and it is not even my toughest subject, everybody felt they did bad but I still blame myself for not trying hard enough. After the paper, my friend calling home asking his parents if he could transfer to other uni or underloading and completing degree later.

It was the longest 3 hours I've been through, struggling whether to give up or squeezing and get whatever marks I still could get... I didn't give up but I'd say it didn't help much. Not knowing those stuff you skipped because you didn't think they were important, is my strike one, and two, and the thing that sold me out for the whole paper.

I feel like an idiot, for not learning, every time, lessons after lessons. I don't even think I should trust myself... Still having fat hopes and dreams over the rainbow. GROW UP! WHEN WOULD YOU LEARN! Those words, I have shouted to myself far too many times.

I think, I am not up for it. I'm weak, and this is another challenge I gotta walk through.

And sometimes you wonder is it worth it to study one thing over 14 weeks and forgetting it 14 weeks after.

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